There’s nothing quite like a riveting boss fight after hours and hours of picking away at enemy hordes and cresting that final battlefield. Whether it’s another one of Bowser’s lousy kidnapping schemes or a Dark Souls nightmare-fueled cluster of body parts made bloodthirsty, video game bosses are the peak of many games. And depending on their difficulty, some of them end up living in our heads rent free, a permanent reminder of the trauma they put us through.
While I do my best to avoid Souls-like games (and therefore the pinnacle of video game boss trauma), there are still plenty of bosses out there that have taken up residence in my psyche where they shall live in perpetuity.
Father Gascoigne (Bloodborne)
Back in 2015, I let myself be fooled by some friends into believing that Bloodborne was a super cool RPG where I’d get to fight monsters in a steam punk-esque inspired setting and feel good about myself every step of the way. That was the first Souls game I’ve ever played, and believe me when I tell you I was not even remotely prepared for the sheer number of times I died just in the first area. But somehow I persisted, and by some miracle was able to beat the game’s first boss, the Cleric Beast.
My good fortune immediately poofed into thin air however, as soon as I met Father Gascoigne. The Cleric Beast was a big and slow heavy hitter, but Father Gascoigne was fast as hell and hit like a freight train. To make matters worse, I am the worst at parrying in video games, and consistently failed at counter attacking him. After hours and hours of getting my ass handed to me, I finally had to summon a friend to help me finish him off. So if anyone wonders why I never play (and vehemently hate) Souls and Souls-like games, I will always point to Father Gascoigne as the reason.
Riku/Ansem (Kingdom Hearts 1)
Kingdom Hearts is notorious for its massively convoluted story, but the music and characters are such a wave of nostalgia for me that I am always willing to overlook its narrative flaws when I do a replay. One thing I never like to remember however, is this particular fight towards the end of the game, at Hollow Bastion. Sora comes to face his best friend Riku deep within the castle at Hollow Bastion, where it is revealed that “Ansem” is possessing Riku in order to harness the darkness within him.
This is another instance of a ridiculously fast boss that hits like a freight train when he makes contact, but made worse by the fact that several of his attacks light up the battlefield and hurt Sora. Having to time my jumps to avoid contact with the floor while also making sure I could dodge a charge from Riku demanded way too much of my poor coordination at the tender age of 13. In fact, I died so many times to Riku in this fight that I actually stopped playing the game completely for almost a year. I literally had to “grow up” in order to be “smart” and “coordinated” enough to beat this boss, and I think about that regularly whenever I am reminded of this fight.
Orin (Baldur’s Gate 3)
Orin is not nearly the hardest boss in Baldur’s Gate 3, not by a long shot, if you know what you’re doing. That said, on Honor Mode (the game’s highest difficulty and permadeath mode) there are a set of legendary actions that Orin receives which causes her to take only 1 damage each time she is hit, which stacks at 12 instances and resets each turn. If you don’t know what you’re doing, or if you don’t take out the worshippers supplying her with this power (who of course, all have the Sanctuary condition which makes them unhittable with a direct attack), Orin can ruin your Honor Mode run faster than you can order a Domino’s pizza.
My mistake here was a lack of preparation. After months of careful research and planning for each boss fight, I got cocky and didn’t do the same level of planning for my engagement with Orin. And sadly, I paid the price for it. So while Orin is not a traditionally difficult boss if you know what you’re doing, she is a reminder to me of my own cockiness, and the hundreds of hours lost on an otherwise perfect Honor run. I hate you so much, you murder-happy shapeshifting Queen.
Megara (Hades)
I’ve never been so thrown off guard by how attractive so many characters can be in a single game. Rogue-likes are generally not my speed when it comes to gaming, but so many people had insisted that it was worth playing that I finally relented. And for a brief period, Megara made me regret my decision.
She’s fast, hits hard, and her AOE attacks forced me to put my trigger finger to the ultimate test. Of all the bosses in Hades, none were harder than Meg, who happens to be the first major boss in the game. And I think that’s intentional. Meg is supposed to set the stage for a terrifying set of trials that come after her, but none ever felt nearly as taxing or intimidating as Meg herself. When I did finally beat her, the rush of euphoria was one of the most satisfying experiences I’ve ever had as a gamer. And even though she doesn’t scare me as much now, I can never forget how quickly and forcefully she humbled me for many hours not that long ago.
Morpha (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)
As if the Water Temple isn’t bad enough, let’s throw in a giant man-eating amoeba that can strangle you to death in two hits if you aren’t careful. Having to dodge Morpha’s targeted attacks on platforms in the water, while not running too close to the spiked edges of the battlefield is a battle in itself. Being able to dodge Morpha’s strangulation attacks is even more infuriating, since it doesn’t take too many hits to be knocked out before you can even yell “Hyah!”
And of course, having the speed and coordination to be able to target Morpha’s nucleus with your hookshot and drag it to you for a few sword swipes requires a whole other level of skill I never fully possessed. I often question who hurt the developers so much that they traumatized my generation this badly with Morpha and the Water Temple. We may never know.
What video game bosses still haunt your nightmares? Sound off in the comments below!
