Look, I get it. You want the new sensation, Ghost of Tsushima. You want to feel the heft of it in your hands. But you don’t own a PS4, and is this really the thing that’s going to make you buy one? If not, never fear. I’ve collected some pretty cool ghosts that you can’t find on Tsushima island and can access without a PS4. Probably.
10. Casper the Friendly Ghost
What? Casper’s all the way down here? You’re lucky he even made the damn list. Casper died a gruesome death and exists in the void between life and death to help elementary school kids do cool bike tricks and impress their friends. I have not seen the movies in about 20 years, but I think that’s what he does? No one’s quite sure. All I know is that Casper is a red-blooded American who wouldn’t be caught dead in Japan.
9. The Box Ghost
The Box Ghost presented a real existential crisis when he appeared in Danny Phantom. One of the few recurring enemies, he helps solidify that in the lore of the Phantom-verse there is no such thing as the end. No matter how many times someone dies, they can come right back to the mortal plane so long as they can access a cardboard box. If something cannot truly die, did it ever truly live? This is the question the Box Ghost poses to us. Beware!
Boos had to be somewhere on this list, right? I regret to inform you that Ghost of Tsushima does not feature a single Super Mario character, much less a Boo. I want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Boo’s Japanese name is just Teresa. Yeah, Luigi has been sucking up little Teresas all around town this entire time.
7. Call of Duty: Ghosts
Disgusting. Call of Duty: Ghosts does not make a single appearance in Ghost of Tsushima. Despite the large arsenal of guns that Jin carries around the island, including a rocket launcher, there’s no mention of the Activision blockbuster franchise anywhere in feudal Japan. Sad!
Ghostfreak was my favorite alien in Ben 10, so you can imagine the shock on my 11 year-old face when he came to life inside of the Omnitrix and just crawled out. Then he became a bad guy? This was very weird because all of the other aliens in the Omnitrix were just, like, forms that Ben took. Imagine if you put on a shirt for the 15th time over the course of years and it just climbed off you and said “I’m sick of this, you’re my arch enemy now. How dare you wear me like a shirt!” What was I talking about?
If anyone is wondering why he’s called Ghostfreak, never fear. The Ben 10 Wiki has this revelation to share.
5. Pinky, Blinky, Inky and Clyde
The ghosts from Pac-Man are unforgettable icons of gaming, no question. Did you know that Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man, but the creator changed it because he was worried people would change the P to an F? Unrelated; Hey Ubisoft, free the Scott Pilgrim video game!
4. Ghost in the Shell
Lord Shimura somehow goes the entirety of the story without a single mention of the anime cyberpunk classic Ghost in the Shell. I know, right? But also, Ghost in the Shell is pretty cool. And you can watch it without a PlayStation! While your friends are all sharing cool photo mode pictures from Ghost of Tsushima, you could be sitting alone in the dark watching anime. Just another Friday night, eh?
Slimer, who you may know better from the Ghostbusters TV show than the movies, is a no-brainer for a spot in this historical fiction about the Kamakura Shogunate. Who among us doesn’t want to slime up some Mongols? It’s what Emperor Kameyama would have wanted.
2. The Hero’s Shade
How cool was this? Link died at the beginning of Majora’s Mask and per the lore of the Zelda universe, if someone dies in the Lost Woods they are doomed to wander them until the end of time. Link has been training in a cave for 300 years, mastering the blade. He shows up as an undead knight to teach the new Link some cool sword tricks, and man, how cool is that? This one’s just cool, no jokes here.
1. The Ghost of You – My Chemical Romance
Despite the praise that the soundtrack of Ghost of Tsushima is getting as the best of 2020, I did not hear My Chemical Romance even once, not even during the credits. Literally unplayable.
But for real, you should get Ghost of Tsushima. We rather liked it even if there aren’t any ghosts in it. Got any favorite ghosts that didn’t get repped here? Big fan of Ghostface Killah? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!