Ubisoft’s Watch Dogs: Legion is right around the corner, and as a big fan of the series I’m absolutely chuffed to recruit whoever I like all over London to join the Legion. I’ve assembled here a list of powerful British people to look around town for when you pick up Watch Dogs: Legion this fall, based on what kind of skills and abilities they can bring to the team. Let’s take down the man once and for all!
10. Rupert Grint (w/Ice Cream Truck)
This should be obvious. You’re out with the lads for a pint on Shoreditch on a muggy Friday, looking to go arse over tit. You’re out for a good nosh up and a cheeky Nando’s just won’t cut it. Ron Weasley rolls up in an ice cream van and is flogging sweets for 10p a pop. With him on your team you’re sure the night will never go pear-shaped.
9. Boris Johnson
Yeah, yeah, we all know old Boris is off his trolley, but hear me out – just tossing him out on the street will make excellent bait for a riot while your real Legionaries leg it across the Thames and EMP-bomb Buckingham Palace, or whatever. More than a few people think he’s proper botched leading the nation, so it’ll be easy to distract the crowds.
8. A Right Chav
You and your mates are going to need these blokes on your squad if you’re really going to do some damage. Watch Dogs is all about taking down the government, I reckon, and so sending a few chavs you found in the Maccies car park in to blow up London Bridge is going to really take the piss out of the Bobbies.
7. Ed Sheeren
Game of Thrones star Ed Sheeren will make a handy addition to the crew for morale boosting. One of his famous songs is sure to leave the whole gang chuffed and ready to take control of the London Eye. I bet you can see Mark’s place from up there, that cheeky bastard.
6. Football Hooligans
The government has recruited Spurs fans to fight for them, but you’ve got something ten times rowdier: Arsenal fans. Set them loose in Westminster on a derby day and watch chaos unfold. Now, you’re a real Watch Dog.
5. Ewan McGregor
Ewan McGregor is one of the greatest Jedi in history, so taking out a few MPs here and there should be no problem. Too bad about all that Jedi code nonsense; his dad, Liam Neeson, instilled in him a sense of order, so utilize him to take out prime assassination targets rather than for general mayhem.
4. Benadryll Cabbagepatch
Bandersnatch Cumberbund, known for his work in Sherlock and Doctor Strange, would be a great addition to your crew. He seems really smart, because of all the Sherlocking and such. Was he one of the Doctor Whos? Probably. Plus, Baronhold Candlestand comes with Martin Freeman for no extra charge. Score!
3. Queen Elizabeth II
Anyone who attacks the Queen is violating the Geneva Convention, and that means bringing the full force of the Swiss Army down on their own heads. Use Her Majesty as a shield to move about crowded areas. Her corgis can also be used to deliver messages.
2. Doctor Who
Wow, look at this. You get 13 white guys and Jodie Whittaker. Unleash their combined might upon London with your new time traveling powers. Things are gonna get a little timey-wimey in here, am I right, internet? Fish and chips.
1. V for Vendetta Guy
Natalie Portman blew us all away in 2003 with her Oscar-winning performance as V for Vendetta Guy. Was he real? I’m pretty sure he was, yeah. Anyway, he’s really good at destroying governments, so yeah, recruit him to help you attack and dethrone God, just like at the end of every Watch Dogs game.
Got any British friends you want to nominate? Starting to suspect I have no idea what Watch Dogs is? Sound off in the comments below!