Ok, yes. The only officially confirmed Nintendo game for the rest of 2020 is New Pikmin 3 Deluxe XL for the Nintendo Switch. Fine. What you don’t know is that Doug Bowser has tons of goodies hidden just under the hood, waiting to surprise and delight. I acquired these secrets with a combination of a complex pulley system and wild speculation, so these are coming exclusive to Gameluster readers.
10. Breath of the Wild 2
The sequel to smash hit The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild has been in development since late 2017 and is built in the same engine, so it seems plausible that before the pandemic struck Nintendo intended to premiere it this holiday season. But I think the good folks at Nintendo have pulled through working at home and will definitely have it ready just in time for Christmas, probably. Nintendo is so good at online, they couldn’t mess up making a game that way.
9. Bayonetta 3
Platinum announced Switch exclusive Bayonetta 3 was in development in 2017, so it’s like, gotta be done now, right? Nintendo is just sitting on this one for their next partner direct. Yeah. I think so, it would make sense. They can’t just have no games, right? Also, where the hell is Babylon’s Fall?
8. Star Fox Grand Prix
The Star Fox racing game from Retro Studios has been rumored for so long that we’ve collectively The Secret‘d it into existence. Hooray! Star Fox, Falco, Sip Frog and the other one are back at it to race around the galaxy in their ships. Also shooting lasers. Maybe there’s a mech component, there’s no way to know for sure. Look for it very soon, obviously. Tomorrow, even.
7. Teen Icarus
Ok, hear me out. Kid Icarus has been without a game for almost a decade, right? What if he was aging in real time? That’s right, the upcoming installment of Masahiro Sakurai’s third-person shooter series will feature an edgier 17-year old Icarus whose parents don’t understand him. Join him in his quest as he starts a terrible band, writes angry poetry only to immediately destroy it and asks a girl to prom by shooting her with an arrow. Ha cha cha, love is in the air, probably.
6. Doug Bowser’s Inside Story
The Mario & Luigi series has finally arrived at its natural conclusion, which is journeying inside of Nintendo CEO Doug Bowser’s body to Innerspace a disease, or something. Control Doug Bowser’s executive decisions at Nintendo HQ by platforming through his body and trying not to get digested! If you really want that Netflix app on Switch because you own no other electronic devices, now’s your chance to simulate what that might be like!
5. Pokemon Eat
The Pokemon Company is ready to tackle America’s obesity problem, one pecha berry at a time. Pokemon Eat is similar to other calorie counter apps, except whatever food you eat in real life your sweet virtual pets will get that much less to live on. Balance you caloric intake so it’s enough to keep your Snorlax alive! It only eats 300 lbs of food a day, so it should be fine. Gamify my meals, PLEASE.
4. Earthbound 3
Mother was never released outside of Japan, but Mother 2 made it over the west localized as Earthbound. Mother 3 released in Japan only in 2006 and has remained a delicious temptation for Nintendo to dangle before its fan’s sweaty palms. Well, sweat no more, because Mother 4 died in development hell and was resurrected as Mother 5, this one with 20% more mothers in it. Watch for the English version, Earthbound 3 on store shelves this holiday!
3. Persona 4 1/2
ATLUS will stop at nothing to ensure that Nintendo will never get their hands on a mainline Persona game. In this glossed-up rerelease, players will watch Timon and Pumbaa from The Lion King run a let’s play of Persona 4 Golden. So, I mean, you can see the game on a Switch at least. Yay? Look for this $60 movie on Black Friday this year!
2. A Waluigi Solo Game
Finally, the man himself is slated to headline a AAA game. The problem is that Nintendo has an established franchise for nearly every genre of game… which is how we ended up with “Hide and Find: Circus Waluigi!” That’s right, Nintendo is finally filling the gap in their roster with a hidden objects point-and-click game. It’s mostly a lot of pointing and clicking, with Waluigi drawn into some frames. Is this better or worse than not having a game at all? Who can say.
1. F-Zero
Yeah, right.
Got any other hot Nintendo leaks to share? Upset that I am so certain Pikmin 4 is dead forever that I didn’t even make a joke about it? Sound off in the comments below!
