With the unexpected (and seemingly forced) release of the first trailer for Rockstar’s long-anticipated Grand Theft Auto VI, we’ve gotten a tease about the storyline from the bits of dialogue and the tone from the use of Tom Petty’s “Love Is A Long Road.” One can infer a “Bonnie & Clyde”-sort of relationship being a central element of the plot. And like Bonnie & Clyde, chances are it’s not going to end well. With that in mind, we present ten songs of doomed romance which could probably help set the mood for players as they tool around Vice City.
The Eagles – Life In The Fast Lane
Originally on their Hotel California album, the Eagles lay out this tale of two doomed criminals who start badly, do pretty well, and end badly. Joe Walsh delivers one of rock music’s most iconic guitar licks, while Don Henley tells the story in his signature style. This track would absolutely be on any classic rock station’s playlist.
Nickelback – Fight For All The Wrong Reasons
There’s probably going to be a rejoinder of “Nickelback sucks!” in the comments for the usual inscrutable reasons, I’m sure. It’s popular to bash the band, and I’ve never been able to get a really good explanation why. Chad Kroger’s hair, maybe? Who knows? But this particular track definitely fits for any hard rock or alternative station. It describes a pretty screwed up relationship, and while it suggests the narrator isn’t with the other half any longer, it also kind of hints that they’ll probably get back together and make the same mistakes all over again.
Rise Against – Savior
Unlike a lot of songs on this list, this one squeaks in mainly because it’s describing a relationship which has not quite fallen completely apart, but it’s right on the edge of destruction. You can picture two people facing each other, trying to come up with a good reason to stay together when everything about their relationship to this point demonstrates they shouldn’t. Solid pick for an alternative station, or a Top 40 station if there’s a cover.
Story Of The Year – Anthem Of Our Dying Day
Another solid alternative pick, possibly elsewhere as well. Clearly, the narrator in this one’s heartbroken. Not just sad, not simply upset, but devastated. Something went horribly wrong in what was believed to be a solid relationship. People don’t wish for entire cities to be inundated unless there was a truly Biblical injury or betrayal involved.
The Traveling Wilburys – Tweeter And The Monkey Man
While this one is probably most likely to be found on a classic rock station, it could make a jump to alternative by itself (the same way Johnny Cash started getting a lot of airplay after his cover of “Hurt”), or even hard rock or punk via a cover (Canadian rock band Headstones did one, as did P.Paul Fenech of British psychobilly band The Meteors). Much like “Life In The Fast Lane,” it tells a distinctive story of crooks, crimes, love, and tragedy. Yet with Bob Dylan doing the lead vocals, it’s more bleak and lurid than anything the Eagles could put out. It might be poking fun at Bruce Springsteen, but it’s still a well crafted song.
Bruce Springsteen – Backstreets
Well, if you’re gonna poke fun at Springsteen, might as well play it straight in the next breath. It seems a very Rockstar thing to do, and could make for a nice counterpoint to “Tweeter And The Monkey Man” (or vice versa) depending on when they played. The song veers between ballad-like recollection in the main verses and hard rock bombast in the chorus. You get the impression that the narrator and the object of their affection are a classic “grew up together” love story that doesn’t get a happy ending. This one deserves to go in there.
New Found Glory – My Friends Over You
A pop punk anthem which could very well play on a number of different stations, this one’s a little different than a lot of the entries on the list because it’s the narrator of the song who’s the problem and they know it. They’re just self-aware enough to realize they can’t hang with their significant other, that they’re at the “put up or shut up” point where you prioritize your lover above your buddies and can’t bring themselves to make that jump. A lot less spectacular of a failure, but still doomed.
ZZ Top – Sure Got Cold After The Rain Fell
Billy Gibbons already cameoed on our Nickelback entry, but this track is pure blues: languid, lush, and mournful. While ZZ Top would almost immediately get stuffed into classic rock channels in the real world, this particular track could work either on a country or blues-centered station in Vice City. You hear me, Lazlow?
Anberlin – Feel Good Drag
If there’s a more perfect anthem for the sort of hookup hi-jinks and Spring Break shenanigans you expect on South Beach (or its Vice City equivalent), I’m having a hard time thinking of it. It’s a different kind of doomed romance, to be sure, and maybe overly generous in the use of the word “romance.” Still, there’s a strong feeling that the narrator knows nothing good will come of the fling they’re being invited into.
Ed Sheeran – Don’t
While the original reading of the lyrics is definitely about two singers who get together and later fall apart, one could take a very GTA-style reading of it: two criminals who find each other and keep their respective crimes separate from each other. And if one of them has what could charitably be described as commitment issues, the line from the chorus, “Take aim and reload,” takes on some disturbing new connotations.
Is there a song of doomed romance we missed out on? What are you looking forward to in GTA VI’s soundtrack? Let us know in the comments!
